Commentary: We cannot allow COVID-19 to disrupt our relationships too
SINGAPORE: My family has been planning a party for my almost two-twelvemonth sometime daughter, Lily.
Sadly, with the exponential rise in COVID-nineteen cases, my husband uninvited all his friends to the party 2 weeks ago. Yesterday, he uninvited his own female parent.
Like a bad breakdown, these un-invites were impersonally conveyed over the phone or WhatsApp. After my husband delivered the bulletin to his mother, in that location was a long break on the other end of the line during which you could nearly hear her face fall. Then she quietly replied: "Ok. If that's what you want."
THE Man Impact OF SOCIAL DISTANCING
Such disengagement efforts are about to increase as on Friday (Apr 3) Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong announced stepped upward measures with effect from Apr vii to become people to stay at home more and to minimise social engagements.
Already, over the by few weeks, many Singaporeans have cancelled birthdays, weddings and date parties. Couples exchange vows in quiet ceremonies similar forbidden lovers about to elope.
New built-in babies are delivered into silent wards. Since only one company is allowed into hospitals at any one time, there are no longer bouncy "viewing parties" or over-adoring grandparents fussing over their every yawn.
Even much-cherished coming-of-age rituals such every bit National Service enlistments accept been disrupted. While parents could previously bring together their sons for a tour of their camp at the Basic War machine Training Centre in Pulau Tekong, and bask a farewell repast, at present they have to brand exercise with quick goodbyes at designated drop-off points.
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Inter-generation bonding has besides been interrupted, perhaps at a time when seniors need family support the nigh. In response to a COVID-nineteen cluster at the Lee Ah Mooi Onetime Age Home, visitors are no longer immune at all nursing homes.
This took effect on Thursday (Apr two) and will last until the stop of the month.
Amongst the many things that COVID-19 has upended, it has changed the mode we express and experience honey. When each person and family becomes a possible "transmission unit", celebrations, communal rituals and gatherings increasingly seem like a careless way of putting those you love almost at risk.
Instead of celebrating milestones with the people we love, today, it almost seems like the all-time thing we can do for loved ones is to but cancel all run into-ups.
When we do meet, we cautiously tiptoe around ane some other, parking ourselves on carefully marked out boxes like expensive cars we are too agape to scratch. When we date, we connect with more than emojis than actual hugs and kisses
The pandemic has even changed how we interact with our closest family members.
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Having suffered from a sensitive sinus since I was a child, I accept never been more conscious of my blocked olfactory organ. Some days, on the off chance that I might be ill, I find myself increasingly reluctant to get close to family unit members. Despite our "in sickness and health" vows, illness during a pandemic is a solitary experience, and some aspects of intimate relationships will have to exist sacrificed for the greater good.
The challenge today is how to maintain physical distance without compromising social connection and emotional closeness.
A DEEPER WAY TO CONNECT WITH TECHNOLOGY
Interestingly, for the first time in many years, technology is no longer painted as a poor imitator of, and powerful lark from, "real life". As nosotros read nigh tearful video farewells between families and COVID-19 victims in Italy, technology has never felt more vital and pertinent.
Here in Singapore, thanks to well-placed measures, nosotros have not seen so many fatalities. That said, many elderly I know are also embracing technology like never before. At the age of 73, my mother-in-police force has learnt how to make WhatsApp video calls with my daughter Lily.
And now that nosotros can no longer celebrate Lily's birthday with her, nosotros have promised to practice it over a video call.
Technology has not simply helped to bridge physical distances, and disruptions in our social relationships; it besides feels more personal and intimate than earlier.
Today, my social media feed is no longer saturated with heavily edited images of aspirational hotels, digitally enhanced sunsets, beautifully plated omakase meals, product apartment lays and airbrushed outfits-of-the-twenty-four hours shots (#OOTDs).
Instead, more people I know are posting warm and sometimes hilarious family unit videos in domicile-wear, every bit well as intimate pictures of domicile cooked dinners and family recipes. Instead of generic i-line captions, more are penning heartfelt and emotionally vulnerable posts, and these are opening upward new conversations, even if they simply begin with "How are you?"
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Perhaps a positive offshoot of this pandemic is that we are no longer seeing mobile devices as a smashing chasm of lost time, just simply as a medium for greater connectivity. After all, any platform we choose to communicate with, it is the intention, emotion and amore behind each message that really matters.
Speaking of connection, amidst the isolating pandemic, my secondary school classmates accept too suddenly reunited on WhatsApp. What started as a single bulletin from one enthusiastic guy grew into a conversation group of 28 people almost overnight. This well-populated chat group beeps endlessly now with memes and words of encouragement.
It may seem odd that afterward existence separated for more than two decades, 28 people would initiate a virtual secondary school reunion in the thick of a global pandemic.
In fact, these virtual communities are sprouting out everywhere, among prison cell group members, colleagues and yoga enthusiasts. Equally religious institutes, fettle studios and even children'south pools shut down, these virtual meeting spaces have risen to fill up the void.
RICHER EMOTIONAL BONDING
We are also finding new ways to reach across the gulf and make a meaningful connection. Only yesterday, two of my friends – one based in Singapore and the other, Hong Kong – arranged to take the same online yoga form at the same time.
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Post-yoga, they shared a similar screen grab of the instructor Patrick Creelman'southward cat giving him the side eye via our three-manner group chat. This piffling moment bonded them in a shared experience.
Perhaps in times of social distancing, isolation and quarantine, these virtual support groups will give us the emotional and physical resilience to conditions the bully emotional and economic stress. And perhaps when faced with bloodshed and mass anxiety, milestones and celebrations feel all the more precious.
Indeed, it is comforting to know that around the earth, people are nevertheless celebrating and sharing the arrival of a new born baby. In Singapore for example, the media reported that an elderly couple Tom Iljas, 81, and Liong May Swan, 78 - in a relationship for a decade - committed themselves to each other in a dispensary in Alexandra Hospital on Mar 28 in the confront of an uncertain future.
And perhaps that is precisely the point of these celebrations - that despite the uncertainty of the future, these stand for our hope that we volition indeed come out on the other side of the pandemic.
And when nosotros do, nosotros volition have newfound appreciation for our important support groups, and go along to make important emotional investments in them.
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Annie Tan is a freelance author.
Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/commentary/commentary-we-cannot-allow-covid-19-disrupt-our-relationships-too-285601
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